Making Papa Drone More Gangsta

I am at my parents' house for a little rest and relaxation, and my belated birthday dinner. I still feel as if alcohol is seeping out of my pores. The celebratory champagne I have been drinking with my parents probably isn't helping either.

Speaking of champagne, my biggest accomplishment of the day was teaching beloved Papa Drone how to pronounce "Cristal" (he was saying it like "crystal") and explaining that he needs to order it correctly so people will know he's a "baller." This of course led to some confusion because he thought I said "bowler" and didn't understand what ten pins and a bowling alley have to do with champagne. Then after I spelled "b-a-l-l-e-r" out for him, he was under the impression that a baller is a person who goes to balls and makes sure the balldancers have fun.

After sister E and I finished hysterically laughing, we explained that being a baller had nothing to do with bowling or actual balls, and more to do with hip-hop. At which point Papa Drone said, "Oh, like bling bling. I'm going to need some more bling bling to be a baller."

Lesson one of being a baller down. Tomorrow I think I will teach him about grills and caddys, by which of course I mean cadillacs and not people wearing funny little outfits out on a golf green.

Somehow Still Alive...

After the birthday merriment last night, I am not sure how I am still standing. Actually, I take that back because I am currently sitting with little intention of getting up since my foot is bruised (from being stepped on by a drunk guy, naturally) and my legs are sore from dancing all night in stilettos. In fact, I'm not sure when I'll be able to walk again without saying "ow" with every step. After two showers, I still feel as if alcohol is oozing out of every one of my pores.

It was a fantastic night and of course it wouldn't be a birthday without a little blacking out and boy drama. Despite the fact that I hadn't spoken to him in a while, Slingarm showed up and created a slew of discomfort around my friends that don't approve of him (for being an douchebag and whatnot).

Then my good friend and long-time love from college, McPreppy, showed up. I haven't seen him in a while since he doesn't live in the city and he works ludicrous hours in the financial world. The McPreppy deprivation for the past couple months combined with massive amounts of alcohol fueled a great deal of sitting on his lap and introducing him to people as "the guy I'm going to marry but he doesn't know it yet" to which he would uncomfortably say, "um." It also led to my sister pulling me aside to tell me that Slingarm couldn't stop staring at me all night and it was "creeping her out."

Note to all single girls looking to meet guys: wear a tiara at a bar and they will spring out of the woodworks. I had an entire table of guys I didn't know toast to my birthday, took pictures with guys that approached me out of nowhere, and had countless others yell "happy birthday" at me. I ended up getting the number of one cutie, Accountant Boy, but was mostly preoccupied with spending time with my friends and making sure my 30-year-old inappropriate guy friends didn't hit on my little sister.

The night ended around 4AM, after a champagne toast at my apartment with my pals. As I mentioned earlier, this is the first birthday I have spent in a long while without a boyfriend, but instead of feeling lonely and sad, I am actually incredibly happy and left with the sensation of how much I am loved by my friends, and what a fantastic circle of support I have around me.

All in all it was a great birthday, and I'm going to keep the celebration going as long as I can, even though I don't think I can get away with wearing the tiara anymore. Boo.

Growing Older But None the Wiser

As I count down the minutes to my birthday, I am reevaluating my life as we tend to do on occasions such as this.

It suddenly hit me a few moments ago that this is the first year ever in my life to date that I will be alone on the midnight of my birthday, instead of out celebrating with friends or a boyfriend. Instead, since I am becoming an old lady, I am resting up for the festivities tomorrow night and spending the night reading and sleeping. And I have a feeling that this is the beginning of a new trend of this nature; where I will be spending more of life's milestones on my own.

Years ago, if you had asked me where I would be right now, I would've told you that I would be married with kids and living in the suburbs. I never would have dreamed in a thousand years that I would be single, living in Manhattan, and technically unemployed. (Wow it sounds depressing when I put it that way, doesn't it?) But I was talking to my friend J the other day and he asked me to picture the life I would've had if I had married my ex and was strapped to children in the burbs right now.

I tried to imagine what it would be like if I was spending my birthday with a husband and children, rather than throwing a huge party in a bar in Manhattan.

And then I told him wholeheartedly that I was thankful I am where I am, having fun, living on my own, with great friends I am going to celebrate with tomorrow. And he said to me, "Awww, look at little Stinger all grown up."

Happy Birthday to me :)

They're Alive!!!!!

Excuse me, but I'm slightly in shock. I just heard from Moneybags and spoke to NJ Boy last night after totally writing them off to the Isle of Lost Men.

After meeting Moneybags last week and making bets with my friends about whether he would actually call since he "doesn't do the phone" (B is referring to him as "No-Phone Guy"), I was pretty sure I wouldn't ever actually hear from him. Then, lo and behold, I actually got a call today. We made plans to see each other in the next week, but it's already becoming clear that the gap in our ages (nine years!) might be an obstacle.

Last night, after nine days of silence, I finally spoke to NJ Boy. Turns out my instincts were right and he freaked out after last weekend when I went out with him and his roommates. I totally understood where he was coming from since I have been having my own minor freakouts about how serious things were getting and our possible exclusivity.

We had a calm talk and decided to slow things down and see each other when we see each other, but not get too serious. I don't think I'm in any way ready for a relationship, and I don't think he knows what he wants (in typical boy fashion). He apologized for not calling and agreed that in the future if something is bothering him, he'll talk to me about it. All in all, it was really good to get everything out in the open and I'm glad we talked it out.

Perhaps there is hope for mankind after all...

Facebook Flirting

Despite the fact that I am unemployed and one would think that I have all the time in the world, I have been surprisingly busy due to my newest addiction: Facebook.

I had an account years ago in college when it first came out, but deactivated it and only recently rejoined when I realized that all of my friends were now on Facebook and I was missing out on all sorts of fun. And now, I have discovered a whole new time-consuming joy: flirting with guys I have not seen in years but have reconnected with via Facebook and discovered are still adorable.

I've never had so much fun e-mailing with boys that I haven't seen in years and would not have given a thought to if it wasn't for Facebook. Now I know why so many people are addicted to it - how else would you stay in touch with people you haven't seen in 10 years and have no real desire to ever see again? I knew that whole internet thing would be good for something!

I have been e-mailing (online flirting) with two boys in particular, and will see if they actually pan out into anything worth blogging about. Wish me luck!

Breaking Up Is Always Hard To Do

Today I had a significant breakup, but not with a boy (not that there is a boy I could break up with right now, but that's not the point). I left my day job to pursue my career as a writer full-time; that's right, I am going to be 100% dedicated to writing my novel and other writing projects (including this fabulous blog).

It's a pretty terrifying step, although I'm very excited to do what I love and take some time off from office life. I am not sure people were meant to spent the majority of their lives in cubicles, staring at computer monitors. Therefore, I'll spend my time sitting in my apartment or Starbucks staring at my laptop monitor. It's a really big change, I swear.

I've always found that having a job is very much like being in a relationship. At the beginning, you interview, you hope that they'll like you and call. You sit by the phone, biting your nails, until they finally do. Then, there are the inevitable ups and downs, days you are gloriously happy and fulfilled, days where all you want to do is quit. And then in the end, when you pack up your desk and walk out, you are filled with sadness and uncertainty about whether you made the right decision.

I threw myself into my work after my (relationship) breakup, to keep me occupied and give me a sense of purpose. Without that, it is definitely going to be a big adjustment. Just like with any breakup I can only hope that I did what was right for me and in time it will all make sense.

The Isle of Lost Men

Ok. Seriously. If anyone can answer this question, I will grant them a handsome reward: what exactly is the point of asking for a girl's phone number, or telling her you are going to call, and then never doing so???

I was reflecting on the people I have given my phone number out to recently who seemed so anxious to get it at the time, and then never bothered calling. UES Boy embarrassed himself and me to acquire my digits, and I have not heard from him since. Then a few weeks ago I gave my phone number to TV Boy, and he texted me a few times the next day, and then promptly never reached out to me again. Most recently this happened with Moneybags, but I'm still giving him the benefit of a doubt.

What is up with this bizarre boy behavior? If you don't want to call me, then why go through all the trouble of getting my phone number to begin with? It's not like I forced my number on these guys; they made an extra effort to ask for it, but never had any intention of following through?

But I'm not completely bothered by these boys; obviously they get off on collecting phone numbers the way eleven-year olds collect baseball cards.

What I am really and truly baffled by right now is the fact that NJ Boy has dropped off the face of the earth. I haven't seen or heard from him since last weekend when I went out with him and his roommates. We had a great time and I got along great with them; the last time I saw him he gave me a kiss and said, "I'll talk to you soon," but that was clearly a lie. And then, out of nowhere, poof, he's gone.

After a few unreturned phone calls, I finally had it and sent him an e-mail asking if he's ok (because if something really did happen, boy will I feel like a bitch then), and to let me know what's going on in his head. The only reasons I can think of for the sudden cold shoulder are that he's either freaking out because we're starting to get serious, which I would totally understand or he figured out that his roommate, Roommate Boy, and I are perfect for each other and he's stepping aside to let us work it out. Yes? No? Delusional much?