Getting Set Up

I have a general policy of refusing to go out on blind dates. As if regular dates aren't awkward and mortifying enough, throw in the added factor of being strangers and you have a guaranteed night of uncomfortable silences and too much drinking ahead of you.

However, I am amenable to being set up and have been pressuring my friends to invite out guys with whom I might hit it off. So tonight, I went to the party of a friend of mine who's leaving his job, and coincidentally met the single friend he had been meaning to set me up with for a month (but never gotten around to it, because he is a lazy, lazy bastard).

Luckily, alcohol was a part of the equation so when I finally met him (and yes, he was also aware that we were being set up), it wasn't THAT horrible. We laughed about the fact that we were finally meeting after hearing so much about each other (all good things, of course).

He was a very nice guy, open, fun, clearly always the life of the party. He told me that his lifelong dream is to open up an Italian restaurant in the South someday (so we are calling him Italiano), which kind of threw me because that's not something you hear every day, and I'm slightly wary of the South (sorry to all you Southern readers).

He asked if we could hang out again, so I gave him my number. I'm not sure there's any real potential there, but at the least he seems to be a fun guy to know and party with. All in all, not a bad set-up experience!

Moneybags

In spite of the fact that I swore off drinking on Wednesday nights after the mayhem of last week, I found myself at the local bar drinking with two of my favorite coworkers. As we threw back a few and discussed my dating escapades (always an amusing topic), a huge group of guys walked into the bar, clearly finance guys (the white collar is a dead giveaway) and one of them struck me as extremely attractive.

I immediately pointed him out to my friend B and she went to work as my wing-woman. She walked up to him and the guy he was talking to and told them that the next round of drinks would be on me, so they better drink up. There was some laughing, waving, and embarrassment on my part, but later I walked over to say hi.

Turns out they were finance guys and the one I found attractive was taking his hedge fund clients out for a night on the town, so he wasn't at liberty to flirt. However, as soon as the clients took off, all his attention was on me and a lot of free beers I didn't ask for were suddenly being placed in front of me.

At one point, some of his things fell out of his pocket and as I reached over to get them, I saw they were banking receipts AND they were for very substantial amounts of money (thus, the name Moneybags). Later, my friend would tell me that this was totally a move and the guy did not accidentally drop anything; it was a strategic maneuver on his part. I find this extremely hilarious.

Since he lives in the burbs, he had to get into a company car to get home, but not after getting my phone number and then telling me that he "doesn't do the phone." I had only known him for a couple hours and he was already being weird.

All in all a very interesting night and I'm taking bets on whether he actually calls or not.

WTF Is up with Slingarm?

By now, I've written off Slingarm so many times I can't even count, but now I'm just completely and utterly over it (and him).

Just to quickly recap, in the beginning I thought he was a great, nice guy. Then he went psycho on me and got mad for no real reason. Then he officially became a douchebag and I thought I was finished with him. Then he kept calling and texting me even though I thought we were done. And then, in the most surprising move yet, he became a nice, normal guy again.

It's never-ending ups and downs with this guy. I never know if I'm going to get the nice, sweet, wonderful Dollbaby or the douchebag Slingarm. And perhaps that was what made it exciting and a challenge, but at this point, I'm just done. The last time I saw him, he told me things were getting weird between us because he - get this - was starting to care for me and it was therefore complicating things.

On one hand I was flattered that he really had feelings for me. On the other hand, he's a complete moron for not knowing what to do with his emotions. I thought guys were supposed to get smarter and more mature as they get older; apparently I was mistaken.

Commitmentphobia

I was recounting my weekend adventures with my coworkers today and two of them said things that stuck with me. I was telling my friend N about my mild crush on NJ Boy's roommate, and as he laughed at my scheming to trade one guy for the other, he told me that he felt like he was talking to a guy, since I think like a boy does. It wasn't the first time I had heard that, so I laughed at it without really thinking about it.

Then when I was telling my girlfriend D about the situation, her response was, "Just be happy that you met a nice guy (NJ Boy) because you've been meeting nothing but assholes and if you had met Roommate Boy first anyway, you would've found something wrong with him when you actually got him."

I thought about what she said, and she was totally right. I definitely have a history of losing interest in guys the second I have them where I want them. In fact, when I first met Slingarm, he asked me why I had such problems with intimacy.

"Why am I such a commitmentphobe?" I asked D.

"You just got out of a three-year relationship. It's allowed," she told me.

I suppose she's right, and this is the rationale behind my gut instinct to run the second anyone gets too close, and my inclination to focus on the next guy. I can only hope that when the right guy comes along, all that will be behind me.

Three's a Crowd

Last night I hung out with NJ Boy (who is officially NOT my boyfriend FYI, we had a brief drunken discussion that told me all I need to know). I had already met one of his roommates the night I met him, but I met his other roommate (Roommate Boy, not very creative but descriptive!) for the first time last night and took them out to meet my girlfriends.

We all had a great time out at the bar; I obviously wanted his roommates to like me because they're very close friends. After getting them drunk and introducing them to my adorable girlfriends, they toasted to me being awesome: mission accomplished.

At first, I was just shocked by how much Roommate Boy already knew about me; apparently NJ Boy talks about me a decent amount. Then after we started chatting, he asked me a lot of questions about myself, and we truly hit it off. We actually have a lot in common and never ran out of conversation topics, which is (unfortunately) more than I can say about NJ Boy.

Needless to say, I find myself in a pickle. I still do really like NJ Boy and feel like it's getting more serious as we spend more time together. However, I can't deny that I have a mild crush on his roommate because he's adorable and we are probably more compatible than NJ Boy and I are as far as our interests and aspirations go. I can see no possible, realistic way to switch from dating one roommate to another, but that's not going to stop me from contemplating it. Any suggestions?

And Confusion Abounds...

Since NJ Boy and I decided to start seeing each other exclusively, I haven't really had any contact with the other boys I was dating before, as long as you don't count the Wednesday night mayhem. I've mostly been spending time with friends and married guys, totally safe and harmless demographics.

Last night, after a crazy week, I decided to call it a night early and left happy hour around 8PM to stay in, order food, and watch Project Runway and Lost. I was in bed reading when all of a sudden Slingarm texted me: "What are you up to? I was just sitting here and thinking about you". We ended up talking on the phone, for hours, about nothing in particular but life, feelings, dreams, history; he told me about his relationship of three years that had recently fallen apart (something I can totally relate to). I went to sleep thoroughly confused about how I felt about him and the situation in general.

This wasn't the asshole version of Slingarm that I had recently decided to write out of my life; this was the sweet Dollbaby I had initially spent time with that I had felt nothing but butterflies and tingly feelings for.

How do guys always have that sensor that tells them the second you have written them off to start saying exactly what you want to hear? Of course the moment I was convinced I was done with Slingarm was the second he decided to start being real with me.

Married Dudes

There was a time (college) where you didn't have to check out a guy's left ring finger before you started flirting with him. Oh, those were the good ole days.

Now, whenever I see someone I find attractive, I immediately look at his hand. It's become a routine: cute face, nice body, left hand. And that will determine whether the nature of our relationship will be friendly, romantic, or nonexistant. As far as I know, I've never been involved with a married man, and I plan on keeping it that way.

Yet, for some reason, in the past couple days on two totally separate occasions, I have been accused of pursuing a married man. Yesterday, a married friend of E's wanted to introduce me to one of his single friends, so I agreed to meet them for drinks. When E found out, she freaked out and told me to "be good," as if she was worried that I was getting involved with a married friend of hers.

Then, I was having dinner with a married coworker of mine and he told me the last time we had hung out, one of our other coworkers had "reminded" him that he was married, because he suspected that something was going on between us.

The whole thing is slightly baffling, because I don't think that I come off as the type of girl who goes around having affairs. I guess it always looks slightly suspicious when a young, single girl is spending time with a married man, even if it is purely innocent and platonic. The whole thing has made me wonder though, if I should treat my married male friends differently from my single male friends? My gut feeling is no, of course not, a friend is a friend, but I'm beginning to think that may not be the case and I have to be more careful from now on when I am spending time with my married guy friends.