Monday, February 8, 2010

Let the Games Begin!

Super Bowl parties are a great opportunity to enjoy a wholesome event with friends and perhaps meet a man who prefers sex with women

Today is one of the greatest days of the year, the annual celebration of testosterone-fueled nimrods running into each other, oh and eating lots of buffalo wings and drinking beer.

It is also, not-so-coincidentally, a yearly reminder of why I am still single.

This isn't too surprising considering last year when I went to a bar for the Super Bowl, I met a kid who turned out to be a complete moron who had never been to a museum and didn't know what dinosaur bones looked like.

Also, I'm not sure if it's the onset of cold weather, which includes the few months that I am perpetually catching the flu and/or bordering on death, or if I'm just getting more ornery in my old age, but I am becoming more and more of a homebody with every passing freezing day.

In years past, I have prided myself on being the girl who is up for anything, stays out all night regularly regardless of the occasion, sleep deprivation, damage to my liver and work life, you name it. But this past winter, there has been a decipherable shift. Now, even if there are fun events going on and my friends are out, I can't seem to find the momentum to get out of my pajamas and venture out into the streets of Manhattan.

My apartment is just too warm and cozy, and here I don't run the risk of running into anyone that I don't want to see and having the inevitable awkward conversation.

Plus, I am increasingly annoyed by crowds, and just people in general. I can't seem to go out without getting irritated by someone who is too drunk or just plain stupid, and have to bite my tongue to keep myself from picking a fight. It's not a great way to be, and when I stay home the only people I risk picking a fight with are the characters on my TV.

Yes, sigh, I am aware that all signs point to spinster, that every day I am creeping closer to my worst nightmare of the old cat lady with curlers and a hairnet, screaming at kids to get off her porch while crazily waving a broom around. I wonder if you can buy the plastic covers for your furniture online...

So this year, instead of fighting crowds for elbow space at a bar to watch the Super Bowl, I just went to a friend's apartment and feasted on snacks while making snarky commentary at the TV and repeatedly and vehemently yelling at Jeremy Shockey to drop dead. I even got to try on a Snuggie, which obviously makes the night a success!

I think from now on, I will just have to make a conscientious effort to go out and be sociable, which was something that I naturally wanted to do before. I have to fight the urge to go to bed early and read instead of partying. I never thought I would hear myself say those words before...

And no, friends from college and high school, hell hasn't frozen over (even though it is very cold out). Come the spring thaw, I am positive that I will be back to my usual party-until-the-sun-comes-up self.

So with my spinsterhood at stake, come on March, hurry up and get here!


Anonymous said...

Hey there's nothing wrong with being homebody. Definitely something wrong with wearing a Snuggie, on the other hand.


Stinger said...

I know you're going to disown me, but the Snuggie was pretty awesome and I kind of want to buy one now...