Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Breaking Up

So I was catching up on one of my fave shows, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, which had inspired me this past summer to contemplate a career as a high-priced call girl. The plot line in season two consists of Hannah (not prostitute) meeting Alex, a guy she actually likes, falling in love with him, and then Alex inevitably finding out about her career as Belle (prostitute) and breaking up with her.

In her breakup grief, she makes a series of errors in judgements including sex with strangers, sex with her male best friend (who is actually not-so-secretly in love with her), and trying everything in her power to win Alex back.

The moral of the story is no matter where you are (London or New York City) or what the reasons are (be it lying about a secret career as a whore or...say, something else), breakups are not easy.

I've made my share of breakup mistakes, though to date there has been no sex with strangers and I'd never in a million years sleep with my male best friend. Mostly they involved a lot of alcohol, chain-smoking, and making out with random cute guys in bars.

I've also had a history of bold hair and fashion choices, probably because I channelled the lack of control I had over my love life into the control I had over my hair; thus explaining the multiple perms, the bangs, and the recent dye-jobs over the past few years. Hey, if I can't find a boyfriend, at least I can have awesome highlights and fantastic shoes. Put that on my tombstone.

But the greatest thing I've learned from my breakups, and the one they rarely highlight in TV and movies because it's far more glamorous for the guy to simply win back the girl with an unrealistic romantic gesture, is that just surviving the breakup makes you happier and stronger in the long run.

Plus, I think that a little heartache is good for the soul. When I was sick in bed a few weeks ago, all I could think about was how terrible I felt and how I would never get better again. Right then, I couldn't even fathom what being healthy felt like, and I appreciated it all the more when I eventually did get out of bed and found myself well enough to do little things like leave my apartment and see my friends.

And in a similar way, when your heart is broken, you wonder if you will ever feel some semblance of happiness again and want nothing more than for the heartache to cease. When it inevitably does, you're wobbly at first, but then you really cherish the things that get you through it, such as spending time with your friends, laughing loudly at funny movies, making out with random cute guys in bars, etc, etc.

If all else fails, I recommend spending an extravagant amount of money on shoes for no particular occasion and finding an amazing hair stylist.

Trust me.

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