Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Girl on Girl Action

Now, I am aware this is a dumb question and I have been pondering this ever since I found out in 9th grade that guys really like lesbian porn, but really: What is it about seeing two attractive women together that turns otherwise sensible, grown-up men into totally incoherent idiots?

The other night I went out with my friend L and some other guy friends to the bar where hot blonde Polish girl works. She was really excited to see me, and we promptly began complimenting each other and discussing girl things like where we shop for earrings and jeans.

But of course, the guys (sitting in the corner, watching our every move, I might add), of course interpreted this as us discussing what kind of underwear we were wearing and what kind of sex positions we might like to engage in together. And so when I turned around to bring them their beers, I found them totally bug-eyed with their jaws on the floor.

And for the remainder of the night, they could not stop discussing the possibility of me hooking up with hot Polish bartender and alerting me every few minutes that she was looking at me and reportedly "eye-banging" me.

Now, I am going to say that I am pretty aware of when guys are into me, and like most girls, I am entirely used to being hit on by guys at bars. But never in my life have I been hit on by an extremely attractive female. So the experience was entirely jarring, even without the guys ogling us, but there is little doubt in my mind that hot Polish bartender is at least bi-curious and would be open to a little girl-on-girl action.

The long-term consequence of this encounter, of course, is now my guy friends are all obsessed over the idea of me hooking up with hot Polish bartender, and bring it up any chance they get. Which of course, brings me back to my original question of why this is SUCH a big deal.

Silly boys...

(Funny Side Note: Just to prove how foreign girl-on-girl action is to me in my daily life, when my ex-boyfriend D told me his sister was getting married in Boston, I said, "That's great! What's his name."

D: "Amanda."

Me: "Amanda's a funny name for a guy."

Long awkward pause.

Me: "Oh my god your sister's a lesbian! I get it now!"

This once and for all proves that I always have guys on the brain in addition to being a complete and utter idiot...sometimes.)


Anonymous said...

Not gonna lie girlfriend, but now I have a boner. You should stop prancing around the situation and get involved. Have a few drinks, go down to the bar armed with strap-on or maybe a double dong and I promise I'll hold the camera. Yours truly, The ranter

Stinger said...

Whoa settle down there buddy...that was slightly explicit. Cover your eyes little sister!

E said...

Hehe...too late.