New Year's Eve

I have had a bad history with New Year's Eve and have been dreading it for quite some time.

Why?

First off, I don't like holidays where you are forced to have fun. If you think about it, New Year's is just another day but for some reason, people think it's this day where they must go crazy and have a great time. Elaborate plans are made. And then in the end, I always feel disappointed because it never quite meets the expectations you had set up.

The very worst New Years I had was four years ago when I flew out to San Francisco to spend it with my then boyfriend. We got into a silly fight and both of us overreacted and he threw me out of the city. That's right. I was put in a cab at 4AM and I slept in the airport. I figured after that, there was no way I was going to have a worse New Year's than that. That's taken some of the pressure off.

The past couple years I've spent New Year's with my most recent ex-boyfriend. We had a tradition of going out to a nice dinner and ringing in the New Year together over a bottle of champagne. There is a part of me that is incredibly sad we are not spending New Year's together; but there is another part of me that is overjoyed that I get to do whatever I want and have a good time with my friends tonight.

Hopefully, it will be a fun night and I will have something blogworthy to spill tomorrow. Happy 2008!

Next Time, Lie

I found myself in a conundrum today and last night. I am an honest person, and find it difficult to lie to people that I care about. Last night, I met up with Logan Boy and friends for drinks. When he asked me if I was seeing anyone else, I found myself telling him the (terrifying) truth. Then today, when I spoke to J-Boy and he asked me what I did last night, I ended up telling him that I had been out with another guy the previous night. Therefore, by speaking the truth instead of lying, I managed to scare one guy and hurt another.

When confessing these juvenile mistakes to my friend D, she gave me some advice that I am going to take to heart: "Next time, lie." She raises a good point that even though we are taught honesty is the way to go, dating is about letting people know what you want them to know, and not exposing too much of yourself. Therefore, the truth may not be the appropriate way to go. Plus there was really no need for me to hurt J-Boy, so it probably would've been better if I had just omitted the fact that I saw Logan Boy last night.

Then again, should any of these casual dates turn into an actual relationship, isn't it tarnished by starting out on a foundation of lies? Or is it normal and expected that everyone tells white lies to get through the dating game?

Coincidence vs. Fate?

Last night, I went to meet Ph.D. boy in a bar I'd never been to before in the city. He was there with friends and family celebrating his sister's birthday. As I walked over to the bar to get a drink, I heard someone say my name and turned around to see my best friend from high school who I hadn't seen or spoken to in seven years.

After the initial shock of seeing him, we caught up over beers, giving very general information about ourselves. Then I started chatting with one of his friends, a collage pal, who I have dubbed Logan Boy. We hit it off and when they left, he asked for my phone number and made plans to see each other. Later that night, I got a text message from my high school friend telling me his friend had found me "very pretty."

From my first impression, Logan Boy is quite perfect and meets many of the criteria that I look for in a guy: smart, good-looking, well-educated, employed, and doesn't live at home. Without jinxing it, I am hoping to see him again and get to know him better. The whole situation got me thinking about whether it was fate that I wandered into this random bar with Ph.D. Boy and met Logan Boy, and it will work out or fail because it is somehow destined to. Or was it a series of coincidences, from me running into Ph.D. Boy and deciding to meet him in the city, to bumping into my high school friend, which led me to meet Logan Boy?

Ph.D. Boy

I went out last night with PhD Boy because it turns out our parents live very close to each other and we were both bored at home during the holidays. We went out to get drinks and talked until the bar closed. I definitely like him and find him to have many of the qualities that I would like in a guy. However, there are a few hitches already:

1) He lives 300 miles away because he's getting his Ph.D. And he's also doing graduate work in New Mexico on and off throughout the year, which is even farther away. Both of us agree that long distance relationships don't really work (yes, it just came up in conversation).


2) I'm not even sure he's interested in me in a "more than friends" way. We had a great time and there was semi-flirtation, but there was no real physical contact. Granted, there wasn't a great opportunity for any moves to be made since we were in a bar and a car, and we're not in 10th grade. Nevertheless, I left with a sort of odd confusion over whether it had been a date or two friends getting drinks.

I am hoping I will get to see him a couple more times before he leaves for school again. In the end, this may all be moot.

Sister Bee Reporting from College

Since I've been out of touch with the college crowd, I asked my sister E to step in and write a post about what the dating scene looks like, and if it's any easier than it is in NYC. Below, are her musings on the frustrations of boys in college:

In College Flashbacks, Queen Bee here talked about how great college was to meet guys.

So now here I am, in the prime of my college years, trying to live up to all the hype about how these are supposed to be the "best years of my life." However, I find myself slightly frustrated by the dating scene around me, more specifically the lack of one. It seems like couples are either "married" (not to mention the couples that are actually getting married –wtf?) or casually hooking up with multiple people.

I myself have fallen into the former category, and after going through a rather drawn out and long break up, frankly, I'm fed up. I've gone from one serious relationship to another serious relationship several times already, and the last thing I want right now is another serious relationship. But what are my other options?

Dating, the way it has commonly been thought of and portrayed in movies and TV shows is nonexistent. I tried dating a guy once, but that was mostly a few awkward meetings to go get ice cream. I don't want to be celibate through the rest of college; nor do I want to be so committed to someone that it's a burden. So I'd like to meet someone else - but here's my plea: we're only in college, let's have fun together. No serious conversations, no love, just good times. What does it take to get a guy to take you out around here?

Merry Christmas!

After opening presents, I am currently gorging myself on cake. Yay for Christmas!

Boy Psychology

I was talking to a friend the other night about how guys seem to have this radar: they seem to know exactly when you want them to call, and that's when they never do, and then the second you lose interest or forget about them is the precise moment they decide they can't get enough of you and reel you back in.

My current dilemma is that the boys I am interested in fall into two categories. Either they are taken (Sneaker Boy, Dirty Boy, PBD) or they are never around (PhD Boy). That leaves me with the guys that I am less interested in, and for some reason, these are the guys that are always calling or texting. It's probably because they perceive my indifference, and then respond to it; or perhaps I'm just not as interested in them because they're available to me and therefore not a challenge.

For instance, J-Boy is quickly becoming a smitten kitten, which was cute and flattering at first, but not so much anymore. Despite telling him not-so-subtly that I don't really have time to see him til 2008, he calls and texts and asks when I'm going to be able to squeeze him into my schedule. And the more he does so, the less I am inclined to see him. My sister E is simultaneously going through the same problem where her ex-boyfriend keeps e-mailing and texting her about how he still loves her, but she has little desire to hear from him right now. Every time he blatantly contacts her, their chances at reconciliation dramatically diminish.

To be utterly fair, I (and probably almost everyone else) have been on the other side of this as well, most recently with Dirty Boy. I was very anxious to hang out with him, but he was constantly busy with his band, and the more he put off seeing me, the more I wanted to. There was no good reason to feel or act this way, since I barely knew the guy and realistically knew that the two of us were completely incompatible and would never have potential for a long-term relationship. Nevertheless, the less interest he showed in me, the more desperate I was for his attention.

I can only count on the fact that when the right guy comes along, we'll be in the same place at the same time and none of this silliness will occur.