Monday, April 27, 2009

Decisions, Decisions...

This is going to come as a surprise to some, but I make shockingly good decisions. My problem isn't knowing what the best thing to do is; it's actually sticking to my guns when I decide something.

I tend to have these epitomes in a flash of genius, am proud for a few hours, and then promptly revert to being too lazy to go buy thank you notes so that I can actually send thank you notes, eating so much junk food that I feel sick, or kissing that guy because he has pretty eyes, etc, etc.

So I made a monumental decision recently to be honest to a fault, to not let anyone pull a fast one on me, to call people on their bullshit. And surprisingly that one has yet to fall by the wayside, though most people would claim my acts of honesty are really just because I'm innately mean.

I also recently decided to have a zero-tolerance policy for lying, and therefore to write off anyone that I didn't feel had my best interests at heart, and then stay as far away from those people as I could. That is the exact reason that I have repeatedly ignored Dry Cleaner Guy's attempts to get in touch with me.

But what has been hard about this one, is trying to call the moment that I am absolutely sure I am done with someone, and need to axe them from my life. It's not like a sitcom or a movie where there is blatant proof of lying and you're yelling at the protagonist to get out of the room. Unfortunately, most things in real life don't seem to be that clear cut.

Thanks to the wonder of modern technology and the Blackberry, though, I was fortunate enough to find out that someone I formerly trusted had blatantly lied to me in an outrageous manner.

And my first instinct was to blame myself, for not knowing any better than to believe him, and feeling stupid for having been that gullible.

I am fortunate enough, though, to have some absolutely fabulous friends who are wise beyond their years and I have summarized their collective wisdom in the advice they gave me:

Look you do the best with the information you’re given and that’s what you did. He lied to you and you can’t blame yourself for believing what he told you. There’s nothing you could have done to make him tell you the truth; some people just don’t know how or aren’t willing to do that. The worst thing you did was to take him at his word and that is nothing compared to the sins he committed against you.

At the end of the day, the only thing left to do is forgive myself and remain true to my decision to never speak to him again.

And buy thank you notes, because I think my friends deserve them, and really they would be quite handy to just have around for those thank-you-note-appropriate occasions that pop up out of nowhere.

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