Tuesday, July 22, 2008

More than Friends

There haven't been that many times in my life that I've made the transition from good friend to more than friend. When I was younger (and worshipped Dawson's Creek - oh, how I miss the old Katie Holmes...), it seemed like the ideal situation and I always hoped that I would eventually end up with one of the guys that I deemed to be a close friend.

Now that I am older (and smarter), I am aware that it's usually (not always) the females who make the decisions about who goes into the friend zone and who is hooking-up material. And therefore, when I meet a guy and have spent a little time with him, I usually make a snap judgement on which pile he goes into, and there he stays. It's been the case for Finance Boy and St. Paddy's Day Boy, and I usually let them know this by asking them for advice on boys.

Guys, on the other hand, rarely put girls in the friend zone (I mean, unless there is something glaringly wrong with her). It took me a loooong time to figure this out, but most guys will still agree to have sex with an attractive girl period. Regardless of whether they're friends or not, regardless of whether it's a good or bad idea, regardless of pretty much anything.

Thus, the very few times that I have decided to take a guy out of the friend zone, I've had to be the one to initiate it, since MOST (sober) guys are smart enough not to make unwelcome advances on their female friends. I think in the majority of male/female platonic relationships, it is the females that dictate the terms of how it's going to be. Which is precisely why I have been pushing some of my girlfriends to make moves on guys they are interested in but think they're "just friends".

For these same reasons, I also think it's harder for girls to adjust to the transition from friends to more. Once I've put someone in the friend zone and spent a good deal of time with him platonically, it's pretty difficult for me to mentally adjust to the idea of seeing him in a sexual light. Which FINALLY explains why things were so awkward between Joey and Dawson in season two.

1 comment:

Brown Friend said...

haha, i thought i was the only one who used the "let me ask for her advice on women" trick. this was an interesting one