Saturday, July 12, 2008

Neighbor Man

In one of the stranger ways I have ever met someone, about a month ago I was on my way out of my building when my doorman stopped me and asked if he could speak to me outside. Immediately, I was worried that I was in trouble (seriously, I wasn't the one having the party! I swear!), but instead, he told me that one of the men in the building had seen me walking through the lobby and asked who I was. He wanted to know if it would be ok for him to pass my information along on to my admirer.

Of course, my reaction was, "Well that depends, is he cute?"

Doorman responded, "Yes, he's very handsome. And a very nice man. I think he's a great catch."

Now, despite the fact that my doorman might have a man crush on this guy, I was intrigued so I agreed and the next day my doorman presented me with a business card complete with all sorts of home phone numbers.

I waited a few days (as a lady does) before calling Neighbor Man (we are calling him "man" instead of "boy" because he's almost 40 and I really can't justify calling him a "boy"). He's nice, lives three floors above me, works in finance (not another one, I know), and plays the piano. I agreed to meet him for drinks, but right off the bat I could tell that I wasn't really interested in him in any romantic capacity.

Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same way and proceeded to text and call me regularly (even once from Kuwait - I've never been texted from the middle east before!). Finally, I couldn't handle it anymore and I knew I had to put an end to it so I picked up one of his calls when I was in the car with my sister and her boyfriend.

I tried to sneak the rejection in subtly. He asked me what I was up to that night and I said, "Oh, I'm just grabbing dinner with my little sister and our boyfriends."

Him: Who?

Me: Our boyfriends.

Him: Her boyfriend?

Me: Yes, her boyfriend and my boyfriend.

Him: Ooooh, since when do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Oh, recently. It's very new.

Giggling in the background from the peanut gallery. My sister whispers, "And fake..."

Him: Oh ok, congratulations! We can still go out for drinks, right?

Me: Sure, but just as friends.

Awkward giggling.

Him: Why, you're not married, are you?

Me: Um, no, but seriously. JUST. AS. FRIENDS.

I ended the conversation pretty abruptly after that. Needless to say, it was probably one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had. Now I have to spend all of my time sneaking in and out of my building hoping that I don't run into Neighbor Man.

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