Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My Bible: He's Just Not That Into You

On the way to Philadelphia to visit my sister a few months ago, I needed a quick read for the train and picked up "He's Just Not That Into You." And my life was promptly changed. As in we now refer to that time as Pre-HJNTIY and After-HJNTIY.

I highly recommend this book to males and females; it's a quick read and it'll make you laugh either way.

I, just like any other girl, make constant excuses for guys when they are less than reliable.

Maybe he lost his phone. Maybe he programmed my number in incorrectly. Maybe he died. Maybe a relative died and he's been really busy planning the funeral. Maybe he was mauled by a tiger (yes, I actually did leave a message for Logan Boy asking if he hadn't called me back because he was mauled by a tiger). Maybe he is dying to call me, and his finger is poised right over the button on his cell phone, but he is too scared of how strong his feelings are. Maybe he was kidnapped.

The point is we will tell ourselves ANYTHING, anything, to believe that there is something else going on, rather than facing the cold, harsh reality that he simply wasn't interested. And for whatever stupid reason in his stupid head (he has to be stupid if he wasn't interested in me, obviously), he didn't have the balls to tell me that to my face, or at the very least over the phone.

So, here I was, in the midst of all my excuse-making for the boys in my life, at the time primarily AGA and Client Boy, and it hit me that they were totally and utterly just not that into me, and I was wasting my time worrying about them and wondering when they would call. The deafening silence was pretty clear.

I was depressed for about ten seconds and then I realized how freeing it would be to stop thinking about them.

I have a whole new outlook when it comes to guys now. If they are so idiotic that they can't get it together enough to call me or make definitive plans and actually follow through on them, then they are not worth my time and effort.

Now, as a caveat, my male friend J pointed out to me that HJNTIY is not ALWAYS right. There are times when things do actually come up, and there are times when guys do legitimately get freaked, and not because they don't like a girl, but because they (like us) do have feelings and baggage. So, sometimes, it's ok to throw them a little slack, but only a little.

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