The Return of the J-Boy

Just to refresh everyone's memory, last year I started dating a guy I dubbed J-Boy and proceeded to just beat the crap out of him emotionally. The last time I saw him was when I ran into him at a bar the day after I had posted our break-up conversation verbatim to the internet (and promptly sent it out to just about everyone I know).

Now, this all happened quite a long time ago, but for some reason, I felt bad about it about a week ago and got it into my head that I should apologized and make things good with him. And I'm not even 12-stepping or anything. At the very least, it would give me some good karma, right?

So I called him out of nowhere and we played phone tag for a big before I finally got him on the phone and told him how sorry I am for being so horrible to him, that it was kind of a rough patch for me, and it's not indicative of how I usually treat people. Oh, and that I'm sorry I sent all my friends all the stuff he said online to me.

He was obviously pretty confused and shocked, but told me that all is forgiven because it was a while ago. And we even tentatively decided to hang out maybe sometime and catch up (yeah it'll NEVER happen, but the intentions were good!).

I am glad that I patched things up with him, and that the universe can finally right itself, but all in all it wasn't very productive. It's not like we're going to call each other to chit chat or go shopping together for curtains or anything. I have managed to avoid running into him since that fateful night in February, so I didn't really foresee it happening any time soon.

In the end, I guess I did it for my own peace of mind, and to be 100% honest, it wasn't really bothering me so much that I can now sleep easily at night. Which makes me wonder, is it EVER worth trying to make amends? In college, I cheated on a boyfriend after we had been together a year, and before he graduated, we met up for coffee so we could clear the air. And the stupid get-together made me feel worse than I had before.

So, is it ever really worth putting yourself through that?