Settling

Tonight I went out to a fantastic suchi dinner with a friend of mine I haven't seen in a long time, actually not since way before my breakup. As we caught up on life and what we've been doing with ourselves, he suddenly commented, "You look so much happier and healthier than the last time I saw you...you're like glowing. You look great!"

I was pretty taken aback by the comment, but I thought about it and said, "Yes, I guess I am a lot happier than when you saw me last. In an odd way, the breakup was the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Considering he had been advocating my breakup for years before it happened (for quite possibly what were selfish reasons at the time), I wasn't too surprised he supported my decision, but it was still reassuring to hear that I had done the right thing. He had told me pretty much for the entire duration of my relationship that the guy wasn't good enough for me and I was clearly settling because I was comfortable, and mistaking that for real happiness.

In some ways, he was right, but I think a lot of people (including him) have unknowingly fallen into this trap. He has been with his current girlfriend for five years because she is an absolute sweetheart that will put up with him, but that hasn't stopped him from cheating on her (and propositioning me) throughout the years. They are moving in together in May and my guess is they will be engaged in another year or so. It leads me to wonder how many people are putting up with each other and working through their relationships because they are too afraid to see what else is out there and be on their own.