Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year's Eve

I have had a bad history with New Year's Eve and have been dreading it for quite some time.

Why?

First off, I don't like holidays where you are forced to have fun. If you think about it, New Year's is just another day but for some reason, people think it's this day where they must go crazy and have a great time. Elaborate plans are made. And then in the end, I always feel disappointed because it never quite meets the expectations you had set up.

The very worst New Years I had was four years ago when I flew out to San Francisco to spend it with my then boyfriend. We got into a silly fight and both of us overreacted and he threw me out of the city. That's right. I was put in a cab at 4AM and I slept in the airport. I figured after that, there was no way I was going to have a worse New Year's than that. That's taken some of the pressure off.

The past couple years I've spent New Year's with my most recent ex-boyfriend. We had a tradition of going out to a nice dinner and ringing in the New Year together over a bottle of champagne. There is a part of me that is incredibly sad we are not spending New Year's together; but there is another part of me that is overjoyed that I get to do whatever I want and have a good time with my friends tonight.

Hopefully, it will be a fun night and I will have something blogworthy to spill tomorrow. Happy 2008!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Next Time, Lie

I found myself in a conundrum today and last night. I am an honest person, and find it difficult to lie to people that I care about. Last night, I met up with Logan Boy and friends for drinks. When he asked me if I was seeing anyone else, I found myself telling him the (terrifying) truth. Then today, when I spoke to J-Boy and he asked me what I did last night, I ended up telling him that I had been out with another guy the previous night. Therefore, by speaking the truth instead of lying, I managed to scare one guy and hurt another.

When confessing these juvenile mistakes to my friend D, she gave me some advice that I am going to take to heart: "Next time, lie." She raises a good point that even though we are taught honesty is the way to go, dating is about letting people know what you want them to know, and not exposing too much of yourself. Therefore, the truth may not be the appropriate way to go. Plus there was really no need for me to hurt J-Boy, so it probably would've been better if I had just omitted the fact that I saw Logan Boy last night.

Then again, should any of these casual dates turn into an actual relationship, isn't it tarnished by starting out on a foundation of lies? Or is it normal and expected that everyone tells white lies to get through the dating game?

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Coincidence vs. Fate?

Last night, I went to meet Ph.D. boy in a bar I'd never been to before in the city. He was there with friends and family celebrating his sister's birthday. As I walked over to the bar to get a drink, I heard someone say my name and turned around to see my best friend from high school who I hadn't seen or spoken to in seven years.

After the initial shock of seeing him, we caught up over beers, giving very general information about ourselves. Then I started chatting with one of his friends, a collage pal, who I have dubbed Logan Boy. We hit it off and when they left, he asked for my phone number and made plans to see each other. Later that night, I got a text message from my high school friend telling me his friend had found me "very pretty."

From my first impression, Logan Boy is quite perfect and meets many of the criteria that I look for in a guy: smart, good-looking, well-educated, employed, and doesn't live at home. Without jinxing it, I am hoping to see him again and get to know him better. The whole situation got me thinking about whether it was fate that I wandered into this random bar with Ph.D. Boy and met Logan Boy, and it will work out or fail because it is somehow destined to. Or was it a series of coincidences, from me running into Ph.D. Boy and deciding to meet him in the city, to bumping into my high school friend, which led me to meet Logan Boy?

Friday, December 28, 2007

Ph.D. Boy

I went out last night with PhD Boy because it turns out our parents live very close to each other and we were both bored at home during the holidays. We went out to get drinks and talked until the bar closed. I definitely like him and find him to have many of the qualities that I would like in a guy. However, there are a few hitches already:

1) He lives 300 miles away because he's getting his Ph.D. And he's also doing graduate work in New Mexico on and off throughout the year, which is even farther away. Both of us agree that long distance relationships don't really work (yes, it just came up in conversation).


2) I'm not even sure he's interested in me in a "more than friends" way. We had a great time and there was semi-flirtation, but there was no real physical contact. Granted, there wasn't a great opportunity for any moves to be made since we were in a bar and a car, and we're not in 10th grade. Nevertheless, I left with a sort of odd confusion over whether it had been a date or two friends getting drinks.

I am hoping I will get to see him a couple more times before he leaves for school again. In the end, this may all be moot.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Sister Bee Reporting from College

Since I've been out of touch with the college crowd, I asked my sister E to step in and write a post about what the dating scene looks like, and if it's any easier than it is in NYC. Below, are her musings on the frustrations of boys in college:

In College Flashbacks, Queen Bee here talked about how great college was to meet guys.

So now here I am, in the prime of my college years, trying to live up to all the hype about how these are supposed to be the "best years of my life." However, I find myself slightly frustrated by the dating scene around me, more specifically the lack of one. It seems like couples are either "married" (not to mention the couples that are actually getting married –wtf?) or casually hooking up with multiple people.

I myself have fallen into the former category, and after going through a rather drawn out and long break up, frankly, I'm fed up. I've gone from one serious relationship to another serious relationship several times already, and the last thing I want right now is another serious relationship. But what are my other options?

Dating, the way it has commonly been thought of and portrayed in movies and TV shows is nonexistent. I tried dating a guy once, but that was mostly a few awkward meetings to go get ice cream. I don't want to be celibate through the rest of college; nor do I want to be so committed to someone that it's a burden. So I'd like to meet someone else - but here's my plea: we're only in college, let's have fun together. No serious conversations, no love, just good times. What does it take to get a guy to take you out around here?

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

After opening presents, I am currently gorging myself on cake. Yay for Christmas!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Boy Psychology

I was talking to a friend the other night about how guys seem to have this radar: they seem to know exactly when you want them to call, and that's when they never do, and then the second you lose interest or forget about them is the precise moment they decide they can't get enough of you and reel you back in.

My current dilemma is that the boys I am interested in fall into two categories. Either they are taken (Sneaker Boy, Dirty Boy, PBD) or they are never around (PhD Boy). That leaves me with the guys that I am less interested in, and for some reason, these are the guys that are always calling or texting. It's probably because they perceive my indifference, and then respond to it; or perhaps I'm just not as interested in them because they're available to me and therefore not a challenge.

For instance, J-Boy is quickly becoming a smitten kitten, which was cute and flattering at first, but not so much anymore. Despite telling him not-so-subtly that I don't really have time to see him til 2008, he calls and texts and asks when I'm going to be able to squeeze him into my schedule. And the more he does so, the less I am inclined to see him. My sister E is simultaneously going through the same problem where her ex-boyfriend keeps e-mailing and texting her about how he still loves her, but she has little desire to hear from him right now. Every time he blatantly contacts her, their chances at reconciliation dramatically diminish.

To be utterly fair, I (and probably almost everyone else) have been on the other side of this as well, most recently with Dirty Boy. I was very anxious to hang out with him, but he was constantly busy with his band, and the more he put off seeing me, the more I wanted to. There was no good reason to feel or act this way, since I barely knew the guy and realistically knew that the two of us were completely incompatible and would never have potential for a long-term relationship. Nevertheless, the less interest he showed in me, the more desperate I was for his attention.

I can only count on the fact that when the right guy comes along, we'll be in the same place at the same time and none of this silliness will occur.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Quickie: Make Them Stop!

I just arrived at my parents' house for the holidays only to discover to my dismay that they have purchased a karaoke machine (complete with an actual book of over 2,0000 songs), which they now spend their evenings singing along to.

Last minute addition to my Christmas wish list: ear plugs.

Inappropriate-isms

A friend of mine commented last night that in the recent months, I have constant stories of inappropriate comments made towards me. Although, I'm sure most single girls have similar stories, these things usually happen at 4AM in a dive bar where everyone left is drunk and/or sketchy. Yet, for me they occur semi-sober at company or professional events, or via e-mail/instant message during the work day.

Which leads me to wonder: is it something about me, or something that I am doing that is leading to this type of inappropriate behavior? Or is it just that I attract sketchballs who don't know any other way to act around girls?

Either way, even though it makes for hilarious anecdotes at a later point, I'm not sure this is the kind of conduct I want to encourage. I am going to start wearing heavy wool sweaters and make sure not to smile or make eye contact with anyone at any point. Giggling is out of the question too. Now let's see what kind of weirdos I attract!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

College Flashbacks

A good friend of mine C was in town last night, so I went out to meet him and inadvertantly walked into a college reunion of sorts. It was complete with friends, enemies, guys I've dated, beer, and herbal fun. I've noticed no matter how old you get, the moment people get together with their college or high school pals, they immediately fall back into old habits.

It's no wonder why; people look back on the days of college as the high point of their lives. For me, being around my old college buddies reminded me of something: damn, it was easy to meet guys in college. These were the days before you had to check for a wedding band and there were eligible cuties everywhere you looked. Also, they were attending the same college as me so they were already pre-qualified for compatibility. I'm kind of wishing I hadn't wasted the majority of my college years on "boyfriends" and "relationships" so I could have explored the many possible potential husband candidates there.

Now, all these guys are spread out across the world or worse, engaged to be married. I'm going to have to start throwing singles-only alumni parties just to try to recreate the environment. Today, in the spirit of college times, I am going to proceed to sleep all day after a night of too much fun.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Sketchy McSketcherson

Case Study Subject: One 39-year old Manhattan media mogul CEO

Situation: Met him two years ago through work and started a semi-flirtatious relationship, but I had a boyfriend and it never amounted to anything. Upon breakup, the pretense of semi-flirtation disappeared and he has blatantly been trying to get into my pants, despite having a girlfriend that is 20-years old (do the math). I gathered this when the last time I saw him (at his company's party, no less), he introduced me to his friend as: "This is the girl I want to sleep with." I'm pretty observant like that.

Last Night: I gather that the college girlfriend is out of town, because I got a slew of sketchy text messages inquiring as to my whereabouts. I have no desire (nor am I stupid enough) to get involved with this guy, but it leaves me to wonder, where in the world do these guys come from? And how does one's ego get that big? Sometimes I'm surprised that they haven't had to make doorways in Manhattan wider to accomodate the massive heads on some of these guys.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dating Within the Hive

So up until not too long ago, I was carrying on a little secret romance within my workplace with Coworker Boy. This was a none-too-successful venture (and not too secret either), mostly because we work in a very close-knit and small office. I didn't find this surprising, considering work relationships are usually frowned upon and generally thought of as bad ideas.

Then in the span of a week, I met several successful couples who all met while they worked together! Upon meeting my friend M's girlfriend, and asking how they met, I found out they used to work at the same company together and carried on a clandestine relationship until they left. Three years later, they're still together. I also met my managing partner's wife - and yep, they met at work too. Now they're the most adorable cutesy couple you've ever met. They make me die a little inside every time they kiss and hold hands.

So now I've encountered a dilemma. If this work-dating thing can actually be successful, I've already exhausted the possibilities that exist in my office. This means I either have to find a new job, after thoroughly scouring the facility for single, hetero, attractive males, or my company has to start hiring some single, hetero, attractive males ASAP.

My friend S actually came up with another workaround: we are going to start crashing other people's company parties and pretending we work there. This could be a fantastic solution...or at the very least a funny anecdote about how we got thrown out of a party because we didn't know the answer to, "So exactly which department do you work in?"

Side Note - How much do I love someecards btw? It's like they read my mind and created hilarity just for me!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Holiday Stress

I just realized that this is the latest I have ever gone without buying one Christmas present yet. I only have two days in which to buy my friends presents before they leave to go home for the holidays and five days to buy my family presents. And panic sets in...

The worst part of holiday shopping is usually figuring out what to get the boys. For as long as I can remember, I've always struggled with shopping for the males in my life, starting with Papa Drone and moving on to friends, boyfriends, the homeless guy outside my office, etc, etc. Usually, I might be stressing about which friends I'd have to buy presents for, and which random fella that I've been dating is giftworthy, but I've adopted a new policy this year.

I am buying absolutely no presents whatsoever for any males. Papa Drone already bought himself presents, which I will lovingly wrap and put under the tree so he can open them on Christmas and pretend to be surprised. There are too many random fellas and no generic-random-fella-appropriate gift that I cam come up with, so they get bupkis as well. Hallelujah!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Karma's a Bitch


Sooo...I told a guy (Coworker Boy) a few weeks ago that I wanted to "just be friends" via instant messenger. Then a few nights ago I had "the talk" with J-Boy, and have absolutely no recollection of it, which made him really upset - I have no idea why - boys can be so sensitive!

Then today, of course, all my bad karma came to bite me in the ass. About two weeks ago, I met Dirty Boy on a train platform. Since his office is pretty close to my apartment, we planned on getting drinks, but neither of us had the time to what with the crazy amount of holiday parties and events this time of year. Last night, we finally made plans to get together this week. Then today, out of nowhere, I get the ominous "We should talk" over instant messenger.

Apparently, when we met two weeks ago he was very casually dating someone with no strings attached, but last night (!!!) they decided to become exclusive. Therefore he told me, "I would love to meet up and have drinks, or whatever....but we can't have any sort of romantic relationship."

OUUUUCH!!!!!!!!!!

Internet Dating

Last night I met up with friends for drinks and the phenomenon known as internet dating was a topic of conversation. My best friend recently joined what she adorably dubs "the M" (Match.com) and there was another friend present who had met the girl he's dating on "the J" (J-Date) about a year ago.

Despite the fact that the girl was a total snooze, and we now affectionately refer to her as "J-Date McLipHerp" (Thanks N!), it got me thinking about internet dating. It's not exactly new, can no longer be referred to as a fad or a craze, but it's still a pretty hot topic in social circles everywhere. Everyone knows a so-and-so who met on the internet, and is now happily married in wedded bliss; and these are the stories that get recycled around to proliferate the idea that internet dating can really lead to love.

What's surprising to me, and I think this is what the marketing dollars behind internet dating sites are aiming for, is that there are really attractive, interesting, "normal" people on them; it's not (only) for the computer nerds that live in their mother's basements. And that alone may be enough to sell me on at least giving the internet dating thing a shot.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Papa Drone's a Cockblock!

So Papa Drone's holiday part last night was surprisingly a great time! A few highlights of the evening:
1) Getting out of the cab, my friend B's garter belt fell off and landed around her knees. As I shielded her on the side of the building so she could readjust, a man in a car mistook us for prostitutes and gave us a thumbs up sign.

2) Mom drank too many martinis, so she started handing them to me to finish for her.

3) Papa Drone's business partner coming to find me and introducing me to boys with the opener, "This is so-and-so. He is successful and single. Talk to him." Not awkward at all!

4) One of Papa Drone's employees telling me I looked "sexy on the dance floor," and then blatantly staring at my friend and I until we were uncomfortable. Inappropriate much?

5) Karaoke. 'Nuff said.

I actually met a PB (Potential Boyfriend), but never managed to finagle his number since the appropriate occasion never came up, and I figured I could easily acquire it from Papa Drone. However, when I called today to get said number, Papa Drone refused because he said it would be too weird since PB is one of his employees. I tried all my daughterly wiles (ie. pouting and whining) but to no avail.

All I know is PB's first name, and have utterly no direct points of contact other than Papa Drone. Any ideas?

Immature Drones

This afternoon, as my apartment sways to the winds of the storm that just descended upon New York, I am contemplating the immaturity of men. I remember all through high school and college my friends and I comforted ourselves with the notion that they would have to grow up someday. Apparently those were premature assumptions. The three most striking examples I can recently recall are below:
1) The 30-year-old who had his friends start prank calling me and leaving me giggling phone messages late at night after I stopped seeing him.

2) The 29-year-old who had such a Mommy complex he needed my attention all the time or he would throw fits and start pulling on my arm like a child until I listened to him.

3) Most recently, the 28-year-old (Jewish Boy) who stayed up until 4:30AM last night playing video games and drinking beer with his guy friends, and then tried to explain to me that this is normal, adult male behavior. Oh yeah, and then he tried to sell me on the merits of a duct tape wallet.

Yes, they're older, but are they really any different than the immature clowns that I dated in high school? Is there any hope?

Friday, December 14, 2007

Drone Shortage

I recently heard from a girlfriend that the ratio of single women to single men in Manhattan is the highest for any city in the world. I wasn't entirely surprised considering I've asked pretty much everyone I know, including all my girlfriends' husbands and boyfriends, if they know a nice, single, cute, smart, and gainfully employed boy to set me up with. The answer, resoundingly, has been no.

There are various reasons - either all the guys they know are taken, have issues, live at home with their parents, are too short, can't read, like men, etc, etc. It got me thinking that it can't be nearly as difficult for my guy friends to meet girls as it is for my girlfriends to meet boys.

I was relaying this information to my mom the other day over brunch, to which she looked immediately stricken and asked:

"Well, what do you want to do? Do you want to move? Where are there more single men?"

Oh, Mom...

In totally unrelated news, I'm going to be writing from Alaska from now on. Apparently, it's a gold mine for single women seeking a mate.

Buzzzzzzz Off


So last week, this very hot boy, who we will refer to as PBD (Pretty But Dumb) from this point forward, came into the office. Upon inquiring about (ok, begging for) his number, I called him up, made chit chat, and asked him if he'd like to go grab a drink sometime. He very politely declined because he "has a girlfriend," but told me he was incredibly flattered. He then suggested we go out on a casual business lunch and "become friends."

Being a girl that never turns down a free meal, I agreed and we made plans for Thursday. I figured at the very least I'd get a free lunch and maybe he'd have hot single friends to introduce me to (because hot guys always travel in packs, right?).

And then this is when it got weird: the day before the aforementioned lunch, PBD started sending me very flirty e-mails full of innuendo. Not sure exactly how to respond, I stopped e-mailing him back. Then the next day, the day of the lunch date, there was a snowstorm so he e-mailed me to see if we could reschedule. I told him this wasn't a problem and threw out some days I was available for lunch. Then he asks, "When do you get off of work? Maybe we can get together then. I have holiday parties on Wednesday and Friday evening, but I'm free every other night."

Pardon me if I'm mistaken, but was this not exactly the same guy who had turned down my "innocent" offer for drinks just one week prior? I've been running through theories in my head and I think one of the following happened:

1) Somewhere between my initial call and our scheduled lunch date, he broke up with his girlfriend.

or

2) After considering my invitation to get drinks, he decided his morals were looser than he had originally thought, and he has already booked a hotel room for the night, come up with an alibi, and chilled the champagne.

Considering #2 was the far more likely possibility, I made up some excuse about not being able to go out after work, but that I'd still be happy to go to a professional(ish) lunch.

Despite being flattered, there is still something very sketchy about a guy who has a girlfriend who is blatantly pursuing women have have expressed interest in him. He strikes me as the type of guy that usually gets away with this behavior, what with being gorgeous and all, but not with this Queen Bee.

Thoughts?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Papa Drone Gets In the Game

I'm attending my father's Holiday party this Saturday and intensely worried about the potential humiliation to come. The last time I spoke to him about my love life, the conversation went something like this:

Papa Drone: Why don't I find some nice boys and I'll invite them all over to dinner to meet you?
Stinger: Where are you finding these boys? And they're all coming over to dinner at once?
Papa Drone: I'll find them at work or on the street and you can see which ones you like.
Stinger: Let me get this straight. You are going to start picking up boys off the street, which isn't weird at all for a fifty-something year old, heterosexual, married man, and then you're going to invite them all over to our home for a roundtable with myself and my parents?
Papa Drone: Why not?

I'm already working on ideas for a reality show. All I need is a really catchy name and catchphrase, in the vein of "You are the Weakest Link" or "You're fired." All I've got so far is, "You don't get to date my daughter - get out of my house!"

Any suggestions?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Official Dictionary

After some confusion, I have put together a list of definitions and acronyms that I use regularly in my blog vernacular (and daily conversation come to think of it). If you ever have a question about what I mean by something, or want something added, leave it in the comments section and I'll tack it on to the list!

Boston - A city where unattractive man trolls reside

Call an Audible - What happens when you are talking to someone and they express they are not interested in you by working a rejection into the conversation, such as dropping the boyfriend/girlfriend bomb.

Double-Arm Awkward - An intensely awkward feeling or situation, demonstrated physically by flapping both your elbows

Friend Zone - The area that exists when a girl and guy are platonic friends

Good on Paper - How to describe a guy has strong credentials, usually including attractiveness, a high-paying steady job, and good educational background

HJNTIY - He's Just Not That Into You, one of the most important books ever written

The J - J-Date

L-Bomb - When someone says the word "love," usually in an unwelcome manner, such as "He dropped the l-bomb on me last night when he said he loves to go shopping for lingerie with me."

The M - Match.com

OOC - Out of control, usually meant to describe a night of debauchery and blacking out

Operation: Sex Romp Baby - What happens when someone doesn't want to know who her baby daddy is under any circumstances, so she has a massive week of nonstop sex with so many guys that paternity testing would be far too difficult and expensive.

Pulling a Logan Boy - What happens when you go out with someone, have a great time, make plans with him or her, and then said person promptly drops off the face of the earth with no explanation whatsoever

SATC - Sex and the City, every single Manhattan girl's guide to living and dating in New York City. And this refers solely to the show, not the horrendous movie