Getting Set Up

I have a general policy of refusing to go out on blind dates. As if regular dates aren't awkward and mortifying enough, throw in the added factor of being strangers and you have a guaranteed night of uncomfortable silences and too much drinking ahead of you.

However, I am amenable to being set up and have been pressuring my friends to invite out guys with whom I might hit it off. So tonight, I went to the party of a friend of mine who's leaving his job, and coincidentally met the single friend he had been meaning to set me up with for a month (but never gotten around to it, because he is a lazy, lazy bastard).

Luckily, alcohol was a part of the equation so when I finally met him (and yes, he was also aware that we were being set up), it wasn't THAT horrible. We laughed about the fact that we were finally meeting after hearing so much about each other (all good things, of course).

He was a very nice guy, open, fun, clearly always the life of the party. He told me that his lifelong dream is to open up an Italian restaurant in the South someday (so we are calling him Italiano), which kind of threw me because that's not something you hear every day, and I'm slightly wary of the South (sorry to all you Southern readers).

He asked if we could hang out again, so I gave him my number. I'm not sure there's any real potential there, but at the least he seems to be a fun guy to know and party with. All in all, not a bad set-up experience!

Moneybags

In spite of the fact that I swore off drinking on Wednesday nights after the mayhem of last week, I found myself at the local bar drinking with two of my favorite coworkers. As we threw back a few and discussed my dating escapades (always an amusing topic), a huge group of guys walked into the bar, clearly finance guys (the white collar is a dead giveaway) and one of them struck me as extremely attractive.

I immediately pointed him out to my friend B and she went to work as my wing-woman. She walked up to him and the guy he was talking to and told them that the next round of drinks would be on me, so they better drink up. There was some laughing, waving, and embarrassment on my part, but later I walked over to say hi.

Turns out they were finance guys and the one I found attractive was taking his hedge fund clients out for a night on the town, so he wasn't at liberty to flirt. However, as soon as the clients took off, all his attention was on me and a lot of free beers I didn't ask for were suddenly being placed in front of me.

At one point, some of his things fell out of his pocket and as I reached over to get them, I saw they were banking receipts AND they were for very substantial amounts of money (thus, the name Moneybags). Later, my friend would tell me that this was totally a move and the guy did not accidentally drop anything; it was a strategic maneuver on his part. I find this extremely hilarious.

Since he lives in the burbs, he had to get into a company car to get home, but not after getting my phone number and then telling me that he "doesn't do the phone." I had only known him for a couple hours and he was already being weird.

All in all a very interesting night and I'm taking bets on whether he actually calls or not.

WTF Is up with Slingarm?

By now, I've written off Slingarm so many times I can't even count, but now I'm just completely and utterly over it (and him).

Just to quickly recap, in the beginning I thought he was a great, nice guy. Then he went psycho on me and got mad for no real reason. Then he officially became a douchebag and I thought I was finished with him. Then he kept calling and texting me even though I thought we were done. And then, in the most surprising move yet, he became a nice, normal guy again.

It's never-ending ups and downs with this guy. I never know if I'm going to get the nice, sweet, wonderful Dollbaby or the douchebag Slingarm. And perhaps that was what made it exciting and a challenge, but at this point, I'm just done. The last time I saw him, he told me things were getting weird between us because he - get this - was starting to care for me and it was therefore complicating things.

On one hand I was flattered that he really had feelings for me. On the other hand, he's a complete moron for not knowing what to do with his emotions. I thought guys were supposed to get smarter and more mature as they get older; apparently I was mistaken.

Commitmentphobia

I was recounting my weekend adventures with my coworkers today and two of them said things that stuck with me. I was telling my friend N about my mild crush on NJ Boy's roommate, and as he laughed at my scheming to trade one guy for the other, he told me that he felt like he was talking to a guy, since I think like a boy does. It wasn't the first time I had heard that, so I laughed at it without really thinking about it.

Then when I was telling my girlfriend D about the situation, her response was, "Just be happy that you met a nice guy (NJ Boy) because you've been meeting nothing but assholes and if you had met Roommate Boy first anyway, you would've found something wrong with him when you actually got him."

I thought about what she said, and she was totally right. I definitely have a history of losing interest in guys the second I have them where I want them. In fact, when I first met Slingarm, he asked me why I had such problems with intimacy.

"Why am I such a commitmentphobe?" I asked D.

"You just got out of a three-year relationship. It's allowed," she told me.

I suppose she's right, and this is the rationale behind my gut instinct to run the second anyone gets too close, and my inclination to focus on the next guy. I can only hope that when the right guy comes along, all that will be behind me.

Three's a Crowd

Last night I hung out with NJ Boy (who is officially NOT my boyfriend FYI, we had a brief drunken discussion that told me all I need to know). I had already met one of his roommates the night I met him, but I met his other roommate (Roommate Boy, not very creative but descriptive!) for the first time last night and took them out to meet my girlfriends.

We all had a great time out at the bar; I obviously wanted his roommates to like me because they're very close friends. After getting them drunk and introducing them to my adorable girlfriends, they toasted to me being awesome: mission accomplished.

At first, I was just shocked by how much Roommate Boy already knew about me; apparently NJ Boy talks about me a decent amount. Then after we started chatting, he asked me a lot of questions about myself, and we truly hit it off. We actually have a lot in common and never ran out of conversation topics, which is (unfortunately) more than I can say about NJ Boy.

Needless to say, I find myself in a pickle. I still do really like NJ Boy and feel like it's getting more serious as we spend more time together. However, I can't deny that I have a mild crush on his roommate because he's adorable and we are probably more compatible than NJ Boy and I are as far as our interests and aspirations go. I can see no possible, realistic way to switch from dating one roommate to another, but that's not going to stop me from contemplating it. Any suggestions?

And Confusion Abounds...

Since NJ Boy and I decided to start seeing each other exclusively, I haven't really had any contact with the other boys I was dating before, as long as you don't count the Wednesday night mayhem. I've mostly been spending time with friends and married guys, totally safe and harmless demographics.

Last night, after a crazy week, I decided to call it a night early and left happy hour around 8PM to stay in, order food, and watch Project Runway and Lost. I was in bed reading when all of a sudden Slingarm texted me: "What are you up to? I was just sitting here and thinking about you". We ended up talking on the phone, for hours, about nothing in particular but life, feelings, dreams, history; he told me about his relationship of three years that had recently fallen apart (something I can totally relate to). I went to sleep thoroughly confused about how I felt about him and the situation in general.

This wasn't the asshole version of Slingarm that I had recently decided to write out of my life; this was the sweet Dollbaby I had initially spent time with that I had felt nothing but butterflies and tingly feelings for.

How do guys always have that sensor that tells them the second you have written them off to start saying exactly what you want to hear? Of course the moment I was convinced I was done with Slingarm was the second he decided to start being real with me.

Married Dudes

There was a time (college) where you didn't have to check out a guy's left ring finger before you started flirting with him. Oh, those were the good ole days.

Now, whenever I see someone I find attractive, I immediately look at his hand. It's become a routine: cute face, nice body, left hand. And that will determine whether the nature of our relationship will be friendly, romantic, or nonexistant. As far as I know, I've never been involved with a married man, and I plan on keeping it that way.

Yet, for some reason, in the past couple days on two totally separate occasions, I have been accused of pursuing a married man. Yesterday, a married friend of E's wanted to introduce me to one of his single friends, so I agreed to meet them for drinks. When E found out, she freaked out and told me to "be good," as if she was worried that I was getting involved with a married friend of hers.

Then, I was having dinner with a married coworker of mine and he told me the last time we had hung out, one of our other coworkers had "reminded" him that he was married, because he suspected that something was going on between us.

The whole thing is slightly baffling, because I don't think that I come off as the type of girl who goes around having affairs. I guess it always looks slightly suspicious when a young, single girl is spending time with a married man, even if it is purely innocent and platonic. The whole thing has made me wonder though, if I should treat my married male friends differently from my single male friends? My gut feeling is no, of course not, a friend is a friend, but I'm beginning to think that may not be the case and I have to be more careful from now on when I am spending time with my married guy friends.

I'm Officially a Psycho - Magnet

I learned a few important lessons last night, and I apologize in advance if they are not entirely coherant but I only got about four hours of sleep and my brain is still not completely functioning.

Lesson #1: Shots on a Wednesday night when you have to work on Thursday are a bad, BAD idea.

Lesson #2: My one and only dating consultant m is a chick magnet, when the chicks are fifty (don't ask). As of last night, he's officially fired.

Lesson #3: Don't invite friends of Logan Boy to your birthday party because they will threaten to bring him too.

Lastly, but most importantly,

Lesson #4: There is no end to the egos on some guys. There are some nights (quite often fueled by massive amounts of alcohol) that bring you to the realization that the guys in your life are psychotic and won't leave you alone, and make you question what it is that you are doing to bring such behavior upon yourself.

Case and point: Even when you THINK you were clear about someone (ahem, Slingarm) being an asshole and never wanting to see him again, he might not get it and will drunk text you repeatedly until he gets a response.

Also, when you dump someone over instant messenger and stop seeing them over three months ago (Coworker Boy), for some reason, he still might think that you are harboring these secret feelings for him and proceed to have the following conversation over the course of the night:

Coworker Boy: So really, you're still attracted to me right?
Me: No, not at all.
Coworker Boy: No, you can be honest with me. You totally still like me.
Me: No, really, I don't.
Coworker Boy: C'mon tell the truth. You still want to get with me.
Me: For the last time, if you were the last man on earth, I would rather get sterilized than be with you.

Then he just might text you until 6AM (seriously, 6 in the morning), fishing for an invitation to come over even when you told him that you are seeing someone else and have no interest in him. And even better, you might find out from a mutual friend that he said about you: "Yo I think she really likes me. She totally wants to get on my sack. She's all over my shit yo."

Delusional, much? I'm really thinking these guys need to be put in a room with padded walls and studied.

Do I Have A Boyfriend?

So Monday after my early afternoon pseudo-date with Finance Boy, I headed over to see NJ Boy for the first time in a week since he was out in Chicago for a conference.

Even though I wasn't sure about him because there were no tingles in the beginning, true to the comment I received the last time I wrote about him, I'm now feeling crazy sparks when I'm around him and I'm totally a smitten kitten. Perhaps before since I was all stuck on Slingarm, I was too distracted to realize that I had actual feelings for NJ Boy. But now that Slingarm is totally 100% out of the picture, I'm now emotionally available to NJ Boy.

We had "the talk" for the first time since we've been seeing each other and might have agreed to exclusively see each other. I'm still not sure how this whole thing is going to work and my friends have informed me that exclusively seeing each other sober implies a boyfriend/girlfriend thingy, which means I MIGHT actually have a boyfriend on my hands. I'm not sure how I feel about this, since I'm not sure I'm ready for a boyfriend; nor am I positive I can stop being a single girl. On the other hand, my friend K and I agreed that until someone utters the dreaded "girlfriend" word in public, that it is not officially a relationship, so I might be worrying over nothing. We will see how it goes!

Take This R!

Yesterday, my (former) buddy R told me that my blog has gotten predictable (gasp!). Apparently it has been following the same pattern of: I meet guy, I like guy, I find out that guy is an asshole, I complain about guy. Although this MAY have happened a few times, most recently with Slingarm, I refuse to believe that I have fallen into a pattern, mostly because that would be incredibly depressing. Nor do I think that my life has become boring, which was somewhat implied by R's comment (brutal honesty is one of his trademarks).

I guess this begs the question, is there any other pattern that could emerge? This is pretty much the story of most single people's lives: meet someone, see them on and off, and either it develops into more or it doesn't. What else is there?

So, fine R, how's this for unpredictable - I'm going to visit you in a couple weeks and we will get hitched at city hall and then promptly have two babies who I will lost custody of after repeated erratic behavior. What do you mean it's already been done? Damn you Britney Spears for stealing all my thunder.

Boo. Hiss.

What happened to common decency and the days when "I'll call you" actually meant that you would get a call? Prior to the guy-hiatus, I was handing out my phone number like a candy bar on Halloween, but mostly because I figured I had to play my odds, and the more people I gave my number to, the more likely one of them would actually call. Surprisingly, a large majority of them did call which led to a lot of confusion and a good amount of juggling. But now, the incoming calls are definitely starting to wane.

Why am I ranting today? Well I haven't heard from NJ Boy in quite some time, despite the fact that I called him and left him a message a couple days ago. I'm rapidly losing hope that I'll ever hear from him again, and starting to anticipate I might have another Logan Boy on my hands.

Update: Ok, I freaked out too early. He just got back from Chicago which is why I hadn't heard from him. MAYBE there are still some good ones out there after all.

Totally OOC

Last night, the pals and I were definitely pretty OOC (out of control); thus I am staying in this evening with a book and watching last week's episodes of Project Runway and Lost as I try to recuperate.

Since I am on guy-hiatus, last night was the first night in a long while that I have gone out with absolutely no agenda - no plans to meet up with any guys I was seeing and no desire to meet any new guys. Of course the second you proclaim something like that is the second you inadvertently meet someone and I did walk away with a phone number, TV boy, who was very sweet and my friends confirmed was nothing but nice, even though I'm pretty skeptical about that after the whole Slingarm incident.

Nevertheless, I had a great time and stayed out until 6AM in the morning, after multiple bars, beers, cigarettes, and one apartment dance party. Nights like that, hanging out with the people you love and laughing, they are what make being young and single totally worth it.

Good-bye Slingarm!

Any avid readers of my blog have been hearing about a certain someone named "Dollbaby" and will have noticed that he is now being referred to as Slingarm, which E and I decided was a much more appropriate moniker.

I saw him last night on Valentine's Day, and he proved once and for all that he is a complete and utter psychopath and asshole that is not worth my time. To quote my friend J: "What a douchebag." A few examples of his douchebaggery below:

1) When I asked him what he was doing for Valentine's Day, he said that he was going out despite the fact that he doesn't like to go out on weekdays because "it was the perfect night to take advantage of single, desperate, easy girls."

2) I asked him how his broken arm was feeling and how his physical therapy was going to which he responded: "Physical therapy was great. I'm going to start sleeping with my physical therapist next week - she wants it."

3) He informed me that the first night we kissed, he had already made out with two other girls that night before at the bar.

I'm forcing myself to get over this whole thing and chalk it up to a mistake. The only thing that makes me furious is that I was soooooo wrong about him. The night I hung out with him a few weeks ago, I was totally sure that he was a fantastic, nice guy, and received confirmation from all my (and his) friends. Instead, he turned out to be a total disappointment and just a horrible person in general (pretty harsh I know, but trust me, it's true).

Was I just being stupid and naive? Or are some guys really that deceitful?

Valentine Schmalentine

I`m not going to do what you all think I`m going to do, which is flip out (who can name the reference?) because it's Valentine's Day. Instead, I plan on going out with my girlfriends and finding undatable alcoholics (I couldn't have said it better you geniuses at someecards).

Last year on Valentine's Day, I was in Vermont with the ex, skiing and staying at a cute little B&B with a fireplace. Just to place everything in context, this year the only current guys in my life are:

1) A sweet boy from NJ who is currently in Chicago and I haven't heard from since Monday.
2) A crazy guy who is, well, crazy.
3) A guy who spends more time with my father than I ever will.
4) Oh, and let's not forget the guy from high school that wants to marry me.

All in all, I have quite the fantastic little roster running right now. Three more people and I could put together a losing basketball team. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's all about quantity, not quality. Oh wait, reverse that.

Worst Proposal Ever

Last night I went to dinner and drinks with HS Boy and had an extremely odd conversation with him. I was recounting my recent dating adventures, and complaining about the crazy guys I have been meeting in the city. At first he was pretty impressed with my exploits and kept calling me a "player" (I really don't like that term, by the way, nor do I think it's indicative of what I am). Then he got kind of upset and launched into the following diatribe. It's not verbatim, but it's about as close as I can get from memory:

"As soon as you're done being a player and messing around with all these poor guys and breaking all their hearts, give me a call. I've been madly in love with you for the past ten years and will marry you the second you're ready. We can go to the store and pick out the ring together so you get exactly what you want, and then I'll get down on one knee, whatever you want. I would marry you right now if you were ready, but I don't think you're anywhere close."

Please remember that until a couple weeks ago, I had not seen this boy for about a decade, not since high school. And I think it's become abundantly clear that he's been carrying a torch for me for quite some time.

Therefore my response went something like this: "Accaaghhla...excuse me?" while choking on chips and salsa.

Yes, before you ask, he was joking (I think), but he was also somewhat serious. I think if I had said yes and really been interested in his proposition, he would've taken me to Tiffany's right there and then.

I was weak in the knees for this guy many years in high school, but now not so much. As is always my luck, my timing seems to be off again and the second I am not interested in them anymore is the second they come calling, or proposing in this particular instance.

I Heart NJ?

I saw NJ Boy briefly last night before he took off again for the second leg of his vacation. Luckily he had not gotten sick (yet), so I don't have that to feel guilty over.

As I discussed the date with my friend D today, I told her that I'm not sure about him because he's a great, nice guy, and we get along very well together, but I don't get that tingly, excited feeling in my gut for him at all. D said that that feeling goes away anyway, so does it really matter? Which obviously got me thinking...does it?

I had nothing but tingly feelings and butterflies over Slingarm until very recently (Ok, I might still have them a little bit, but just a little). And all that did was cloud my judgment and not see the truth about him (he's kind of crazy and far too immature for me). The same goes for Logan Boy, and we all know that didn't work out too well for me either.

So really, what are those tingly feelings except for physical attraction that overrides all actual logic and reason? If that's the case, then it's a good thing that I am un-tingly (yes, I just invented a word - you saw it here first, folks) over NJ Boy and perhaps it means there might actually be some sort of real future there that isn't founded solely on being attracted to him.

However, the other side of the argument is that those butterflies are indicative of a real attraction that only occurs when you meet someone with whom there is great chemistry, and it therefore leads to fireworks, sparks, other fiery metaphors. Even though that feeling eventually dies down (depressing, I know, but reality), doesn't it spark up every so often between two people who are in a great relationship? And don't the memories of those feelings keep people together for years on?

Any thoughts?

Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

So I had a guy (Slingarm) get mad at me this weekend for telling my best friend E that something was going on between us. She, in turn, told one of our other friends, and it of course got back to him, causing a slew of unnecessary drama.

First of all, the words that passed between my friends were just because they found the whole thing adorable, and were hoping Slingarm and I would get together. There was really nothing substantial; just fun gossip. Secondly, did he really think that I wouldn't talk to my best friend about my exploits? I tell my best girlfriends everything - nothing is off limits - so why in the world would he be?

I think when you get involved with anyone in any capacity, you have to expect that you are entering their world and are going to be talked about by their friends. Yes, it does complicate the situation somewhat when there are mutual friends involved, but that was something he already knew very well when he asked me for my phone number.

The whole "keeping things secret" scenario, which is something I went through not too long ago with Coworker Boy, is such an annoying, high school thing. You figure, when you're in high school, that when you "grow up" and enter the real dating world, it's nothing like that. Unfortunately, I keep finding in more ways than one, that a great deal of it is greatly reminiscent of high school.

Yay!

I hit two blogging milestones this week - my 50th post and over 100 unique visitors to the site. Pretty exciting stuff!

Thanks to all my readers and subscribers! And thanks to K, my social media marketing guru, for helping me set up the blog, name it, and track it.

Saturday Night Mayhem

A while ago, my friends and I were discussing an utterly necessary cell phone feature: drunk-dialing prevention.

We couldn't come up with one way to do this, but the general idea goes like this:
1) You breathe into your phone.
2) It acts as a breathalizer and makes an assessment of your alcohol level.
3) If you are too drunk, then it shuts down and will only allow you to make emergency calls (as a precaution), but you are no longer allowed to make outgoing calls, take incoming calls, or text message anyone.

I don't know one person who hasn't suffered from a drunk dial or text the night before; many of my friends wake up in the morning and immediately check their call logs to groan over the people they called. Not a good feeling.

I am thinking about this today because last night after a few too many drinks, I got a little cell phone happy and started calling or texting pretty much everyone I know. Needless to say, I am kind of wishing someone had confiscated my phone after about 2AM last night, which would've saved me a lot of trouble. I guess some lessons just have to be learned over and over again until they sink in!

A Little NJ Boy

As I mentioned yesterday, NJ Boy is out of town for the next two weeks, so he stopped by to make sure I was feeling ok, a very sweet gesture considering I am highly contagious and have a pretty unattractive, hacking cough right now. He said I was "worth getting sick for," but I'm kind of thinking he'll change his mind after the fever kicks in while he's on vacation.

Although I wasn't sure I was more interested in him or his roommate when I met them, the more time I spend with him, the more I like him. He's different from most of the other guys I've met. First of all, he's slightly younger than me (yikes, I know!), and on the slightly innocent side, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. He's genuinely sweet and authentic, which is pretty hard to find in Manhattan and I will attribute to the fact that he hasn't been living here that long.

I will have plenty of time to contemplate this, since I probably won't see him for a little while and will very likely have forgotten what he looks like by the time he gets back.

Sick and Blah

I've been trapped in my apartment for the past couple days with a horrible bout of bronchitis. My only contact with the outside world has been to visit my doctor (who told me there's nothing I can do but sleep and drink liquids) and to see NJ Boy (came over to see me before he goes skiing and make sure I'm ok). Aside from alternating between chills and fever, drinking lots of tea and water, and sleeping, I've been feeling pretty shitty.

A few years ago, my friend L was telling me that she was happy being single but every once in a while, when she got sick and was disgusting in bed, all she wanted was a boyfriend to come bring her soup and care for her. This has been the first time I've been single and sick in a very long time, and for the first time, I can understand what L was talking about.

Spending so much time by my lonesome has given me a lot of time for contemplation and writing (when I'm not hallucinating from the fever, of course). I had a great time with NJ Boy and Slingarm this past weekend, and perhaps this is just the illness speaking, but I think I'm ready for a guy-hiatus for a little while.

Friday Night Chaos (aka Why Doesn't J-Boy Just Disappear)

So last night I went out with my girlfriends and then E invited me to a birthday party for a friend. I tagged along but when I arrived at the bar, I suddenly realized it was the bar where I had met J-Boy and knew he frequently came. And lo and behold, we walked in, and he was standing right there at the bar. After hiding out in the back room for 20 minutes, (yes, very mature, but seriously, do you remember this convo?) E yelled at me to get it together and we ventured into the main area of the bar.

The following was pretty much a disaster. He and his friends kept walking by our table to go outside to smoke, and at some point I said hello to his roommate to a slightly chilly reception. When I walked out to smoke with one of my friends, we saw J-Boy come out with a blonde girl (not to be petty at all, but this girl was the definition of "busted" - I was slightly upset to be lumped in the same category with this kind of trash). Deciding I was going to be mature about the whole situation, we walked over and said hi, and I was nothing but friendly. I guess I shouldn't be surprised after the whole dumping him over instant messenger thing, but he was really a complete jerk. Later E bumped into him outside and said hi to be polite and came back with the same report: he was being an absolute a-hole.

Of course all my friends and everyone within earshot of the story just found it absolutely hilarious, and I was the butt of jokes for the evening. Slightly later in the night, some friends of E's came to the bar to meet us. I had met them over New Year's Eve, but hadn't really spoken to them since they were all with girlfriends. We started chatting and when I asked where the girlfriends were at, one of them (who is adorable, and this is why I have dubbed him Slingarm), informed me that he was no longer seeing the girl from New Year's Eve. Interesting...

I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say there was a great deal of flirting, hand-holding, hugging, and forehead kisses for the remainder of the night. He handed me his iPhone at one point and I just looked at it, confused, until he prompted me to enter my phone number. Oh, riiiiiiiight. After I got into a cab to go home (of course I didn't go home with him!), I immediately received a text: "Goodness you're adorable."

The great thing about meeting a guy who's friends with your friends is that you can get all the dirt on him from your pals. Plus, if they find the whole thing adorable (which they do), you know that they'll protect you from situations like the one I had with Logan Boy and do everything in their power to throw you two together. I will acknowledge that it is slightly dangerous to date someone that is in your general group of friends because should things go sour, it could get ugly. Hopefully, we are all grown up enough to make sure this will never happen.

The Art of the Booty Call

Today, on Groundhog Day 2008, I am contemplating the art of the booty call.

I, myself, am very rarely the recipient of booty calls. Therefore, the first time I was even tempted to make one (Logan Boy, last month, don't ask), I had no idea how to go about it. I asked my friend R (my source of all useful information), and he told me to just text the guy at 1:30 AM "What are you up to?" and he would get it. The problem with that is he lives in Atlanta where the bars close at 2AM whereas in Manhattan people stay out regularly until 4AM or later. Therefore, I could (and have in the past) be legitimately trying to find out where people are hanging out at 1:30AM.

So I'm aware that when guys call around 1AM and start dropping hints about coming over, that is most likely a booty call (yes, I catch on quick). What I found hilarious is that yesterday, High School Boy sent me an e-mail at 4PM (when I was still at work) asking me what I was up to that night. I told him I was going out with my girlfriends and whatnot, and he said, "Yeah I have plans too, but let's meet up late night...I'll text you."

I was somewhat confused briefly before it hit me: he was pre-booty-calling me at 4 in the afternoon! Now when he actually booty-called me later in the night, I'd be totally prepared for it. What kind of strategy was this? Even odder, the kid never even got around to texting me last night. Very strange...

Goals for 2008

I have been contemplating my goals (not resolutions) for this coming year. You may think these are coming a little late, but I've decided to run on the lunar calendar starting now, so technically, I'm early (for those of you who don't know, the lunar new year is next week, February 7th - it's the year of the rat! Ick!).

I don't believe in resolutions because they sound so hard and fast; when you break a resolution, it's as if you have done something horrible and you feel bad about it. Goals are easier for me to wrap my mind around. If you don't reach a goal, no big deal, try again tomorrow, or next month, or next lunar year!

My large, all-encompassing goal of this year (and my whole life really) is just to find happiness and be content with myself. Therefore, all my smaller goals below are part of the bigger picture:

1) Get my first novel published - this is the year I am going to finish my novel and then get a literary agent to believe in it. No big deal.

2) Quit smoking - for real this time, I mean it!

3) Travel (already partly accomplished by going to South Africa in January!) - I want to visit all the friends I've been promising to visit for years domestically, as well as see more places around the world.

4) Enrich my mind - I have sadly neglected my reading in the past couple years, but that is no more. I want to join a book club, see plays, go to museums, participate in all the things that Manhattan has to offer but I've been too lazy or hungover to do.

5) Form better relationships - this does not apply (solely) to boys, but to my friends and family as well. I really want to build a solid network of supportive people in my life, so that I feel each and every one of those people contributes something positive.

6) Find true love and get married.

(Just kidding about that one.)

My New Dating Consultant

Tonight I went out for drinks with my friend m (he insisted that I use just a lowercase "m" - it's going to be his trademark). He is one of the few people I know that will totally shoot it to me straight, and after I met Logan Boy and was reveling in what I thought was his awesome future-husbandness, m immediately told me to chill out and be careful. And lo and behold, he was utterly correct about the whole situation, to the extent that it was kind of scary.

So, tonight in his infinite wisdom, m told me that my problem is I am taking everything too seriously and I just need to chill out, stop expecting every guy I meet to be my future boyfriend, and just accept it for what it is. He's probably (ok, definitely) right, but it's way easier said than done.

To help me out with the process, m has agreed to become my new dating consultant slash educator. He will now coach me through my contact with boys and male relationships in general, which gives me great hope for the future. I consider him my spiritual teacher without any sort of spiritual connotation whatsoever.