Commitmentphobia

I was recounting my weekend adventures with my coworkers today and two of them said things that stuck with me. I was telling my friend N about my mild crush on NJ Boy's roommate, and as he laughed at my scheming to trade one guy for the other, he told me that he felt like he was talking to a guy, since I think like a boy does. It wasn't the first time I had heard that, so I laughed at it without really thinking about it.

Then when I was telling my girlfriend D about the situation, her response was, "Just be happy that you met a nice guy (NJ Boy) because you've been meeting nothing but assholes and if you had met Roommate Boy first anyway, you would've found something wrong with him when you actually got him."

I thought about what she said, and she was totally right. I definitely have a history of losing interest in guys the second I have them where I want them. In fact, when I first met Slingarm, he asked me why I had such problems with intimacy.

"Why am I such a commitmentphobe?" I asked D.

"You just got out of a three-year relationship. It's allowed," she told me.

I suppose she's right, and this is the rationale behind my gut instinct to run the second anyone gets too close, and my inclination to focus on the next guy. I can only hope that when the right guy comes along, all that will be behind me.